Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. Whereas, the retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and stood at 17 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture remained unchanged in 2000 and stayed at 3 million as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively identifies the main trends and key features of the graph. You have successfully highlighted the contrasting trajectories of the four sectors and provided relevant data points to support your descriptions. The overview is clear and captures the essence of the changes over the 60-year period. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons are more integrated rather than just listing data chronologically. For instance, explicitly contrasting the decline of agriculture with the rapid growth of healthcare would strengthen the analytical aspect of your report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs that group information by time periods. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently' helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive in their structure. To improve, try to vary the way you link sentences and ensure that the relationship between the data points is more fluidly connected, rather than relying on a list-like structure for each sector.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'surpassed' effectively. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'jumped' and 'moved', which limits the sophistication of the response. To improve, incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'significant growth'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the variety and precision required for higher band scores.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While most sentences are clear and easy to follow, there are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'the data about the number of jobs' (which could be more concisely phrased) and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is slightly awkward in this context). Punctuation is generally accurate, and your control over sentence structure is sufficient for the task. To move up, focus on reducing minor errors and increasing the variety of complex structures to demonstrate greater grammatical flexibility.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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