Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector showed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector jumped from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and stood at 17 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture showed a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response effectively identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have successfully selected key features, such as the peak in manufacturing and the steady growth in healthcare. The comparison between sectors is well-handled, particularly when noting how healthcare and retail eventually surpassed manufacturing. However, the report could be improved by grouping the data more logically rather than strictly chronologically by decade, which leads to some repetitive phrasing. Overall, you have covered all parts of the task well and provided a clear summary of the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Finally' helps guide the reader through the information. However, the transition between sentences can feel slightly mechanical due to the repetitive use of 'jumped from... to...' and 'moved to...'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two distinct time periods analyzed. The progression of ideas is clear, and the referencing is generally accurate throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'plateaued trend'. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, it lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. There is a tendency to repeat the same verbs (e.g., 'jumped', 'moved') to describe changes in figures. To improve, you should incorporate more varied synonyms for increase and decrease, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'experienced a gradual rise', to demonstrate a more flexible and precise range of lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically accurate, and errors are rare and do not impede communication. You have used complex structures effectively, such as 'while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million'. However, there is a slight lack of variety in sentence beginnings and structures. To reach a higher band, ensure that you vary your sentence length and complexity further, and be careful with preposition usage, such as 'contributed to 16 million', which is slightly unnatural in this context.

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