Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector showed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and stood at 17 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and moved to 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture showed a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons across the four sectors. You have successfully highlighted the key shifts, such as the manufacturing peak and the subsequent decline, as well as the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the overall trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that you consistently highlight the most significant data points (e.g., the final figures for all sectors) and avoid listing too many individual statistics, which can sometimes obscure the 'main features' required by the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group information chronologically. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You make good use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' 'In addition,' and 'Consequently' to link your points. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the relationship between the sentences is always smooth. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory,' 'sharp decline,' and 'plateaued trend' effectively. There is some repetition of basic verbs like 'showed' and 'moved.' To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more precise reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends. While your word choice is generally accurate and does not impede communication, incorporating a wider variety of less common collocations would help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear, and the grammatical control is generally good, with only minor errors that do not hinder understanding. For example, 'the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage' is well-constructed. To improve, aim to use a greater variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to describe the data more fluidly. Ensure that your use of articles and prepositions is consistently accurate throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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