Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector showed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and jumped from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and stood at 17 million in 2000 while moving to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture showed a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main features and trends of the four sectors. The overview is clear and highlights the key shifts, such as the rise of retail and healthcare versus the decline of agriculture. You have used data to support your points effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that your comparisons are more integrated rather than just listing data chronologically. For example, explicitly contrasting the growth of the service sectors against the decline of manufacturing and agriculture in the final paragraph would strengthen the analytical quality of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader through the data. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the progression between sentences within paragraphs is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow throughout the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'plateaued', and 'surpassed'. There is an attempt to use less common items, which is positive. However, there are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'manufacturing class' or 'healthcare category', which are not the most natural ways to refer to economic sectors. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' beyond 'jumped' and 'decline' would help you achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your control of grammar is generally good. Most sentences are clear and error-free. There are occasional minor inaccuracies, such as 'illustrates the data about' (which is slightly redundant) and 'contributed to 16 million' (which is an awkward collocation). Your use of punctuation is generally accurate. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as passive voice or participle clauses, to demonstrate greater flexibility and control.

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