Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field showed a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector showed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector showed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and raised from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and reduced from 17 million in 2000 to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture showed a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the main features, such as the rise of the service-based sectors (retail and healthcare) and the decline of agriculture. The comparison between sectors is clear, particularly when noting how healthcare and retail surpassed manufacturing. However, the report could be improved by providing a more cohesive overview of the entire period (1960–2020) rather than splitting the analysis strictly into two time blocks (1960–1980 and 2000–2020). This would allow for a more integrated summary of the overall shifts in the US economy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. While the paragraphing is appropriate, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. To reach a higher band, try to vary the way you connect sentences by using more sophisticated referencing or by grouping related data points more fluidly rather than listing them chronologically in every instance.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'plateaued trend' are used appropriately. However, there is some repetition of basic verbs such as 'showed' and 'witnessed'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stagnant'. Additionally, ensure collocations are accurate; for example, 'contributed to 16 million' is slightly unnatural in this context—'reached a total of 16 million' would be more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'raised from 2 million' (should be 'rose') and 'contributed to 16 million at the end of the period'. The use of 'surpassed the manufacturing class' is also slightly awkward; 'manufacturing sector' would be more consistent. Despite these errors, your meaning is always clear, and the punctuation is generally accurate. To achieve a higher score, focus on using a wider variety of complex structures, such as participial phrases or relative clauses, to improve the flow and sophistication of your writing.

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