Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field presented a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector revealed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector displayed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and raised from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and reduced from 17 million in 2000 to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing field and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed to 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, agriculture showcased a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, the analysis is slightly fragmented by focusing on two specific time periods (1960-1980 and 2000-2020) rather than providing a more cohesive overview of the entire 60-year span. While you mention the peak of manufacturing, the transition between the two periods is not fully integrated. To reach a higher band, ensure that the overview captures the broader trajectory of the data more holistically rather than just listing changes in isolated time blocks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader through the data. However, some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the link between the two main body paragraphs could be smoother to better reflect the chronological flow of the data. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'plateaued trend'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'raised from' (should be 'rose from') and 'contributed to' (which is not the most precise term for describing employment figures). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some collocations are slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs for data description, such as 'fluctuated' or 'peaked', and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate for economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'raised from' instead of 'rose from' and 'contributed to 16 million', which slightly affects the precision of your reporting. Additionally, some phrasing is a bit clunky, such as 'the manufacturing class'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will help improve your accuracy.

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