Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field presented a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector revealed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector displayed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and rose from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and reduced from 17 million in 2000 to 8 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing industry and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, the agriculture sector showcased a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when the healthcare sector surpassed agriculture. However, the response is slightly unbalanced in its chronological approach. You split the data into two distinct time blocks (1960-1980 and 2000-2020), which leaves the period between 1980 and 2000 largely unaddressed. To achieve a higher band, ensure that the entire timeframe is accounted for in your analysis, rather than skipping two decades. Despite this, the key features are well-selected and the overall summary is accurate.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the data effectively. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader through the information. While the paragraphing is appropriate, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, and each paragraph has a central focus. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases further to ensure the flow feels more natural and less like a list of points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', 'plateaued trend', and 'accounted for'. You use these terms with reasonable precision. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'manufacturing class' or 'healthcare category', which are not the most natural collocations in this context. However, the vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task and allows for clear communication. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are clear and error-free, which aids readability. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'illustrates the data about' (which could be more concisely phrased) and some slightly awkward preposition usage. However, these errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. Your control over tense usage is generally good, as you correctly use the past tense to describe historical data. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

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