Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field presented a downward trajectory.

Firstly, the manufacturing sector revealed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector displayed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. Consequently, the healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and rose from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.

In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and reduced from 17 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing industry and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed 16 million at the end of the period. Finally, the agriculture sector showcased a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends over the period. You have successfully highlighted the main features, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly generic. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview synthesizes the data more effectively by contrasting the overall trajectories of the sectors rather than just listing them. The data points are generally accurate, and the comparisons between sectors (e.g., healthcare surpassing agriculture) are well-integrated into the body paragraphs, which helps in meeting the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different time frames. The progression of ideas is clear, and you use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. While the use of these devices is effective, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary the sentence structure further to ensure that the flow between sentences is more natural and less reliant on simple sequence markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information clearly. Phrases like 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'plateaued trend' are appropriate for describing graph data. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'manufacturing class' or 'agriculture field', which are not the most natural collocations in this context. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the precision could be improved. The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but incorporating more sophisticated synonyms for 'growth' or 'decline' would elevate the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and the grammar does not impede communication. You have good control over tense usage, consistently using the past tense to describe historical data. There are occasional minor errors, such as 'illustrates the data about' (which is slightly redundant) and 'at the initial stage', but these do not affect clarity. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures, such as relative clauses or participle phrases, to demonstrate greater grammatical flexibility.

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