Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The bar graph compared the number of people job in four sectors of the economic in the US between year 1960 to2020.
Overall, there are four sectors of economy jobs available in the Us first is manufacturing , next is retail ,third is agriculture and the last one is health care. in 1960 to 2980 the number of job in manufacturing ,retail and healthcare faces a steadily growth while agriculture faces decline as a compared of three sectors of jobs .manufacturing have highest rank as a compared to retail ,agriculture and health and agriculture have lowest rank according to three of them . In 2000 to 2020 manufacturing faces decrease ,agriculture have equally . The. Number of retail and healthcare are increase as compared to both manufacture and healthcare as well as.
In one hand, the number of job in four sectors of economic highest rank retails and healthcare have a highest as a compared to both manufacturing and agriculture . Retail ,agriculture and healthcare have increase in the middle to end while manufacturing have decrease in a middle to the end as well as
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarize the data, but it fails to clearly identify and report the main features. The description of trends is often inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing decreased between 1960 and 1980, which contradicts typical data patterns for this type of task. The overview is poorly constructed and lacks a clear summary of the most significant changes. Furthermore, the data interpretation is inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends. To improve, focus on selecting the most significant data points—such as the start and end values or major shifts—and present them clearly without contradictory statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a logical flow. While there are paragraph breaks, the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'In one hand' and 'as a compared of'. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of clear transition between the time periods mentioned. The overall arrangement of information is confusing, making it difficult to follow the comparison between the four sectors over the specified timeframe.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'number of job' and 'faces'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'economic' used instead of 'economy' and 'as a compared of' instead of 'compared to'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To reach a higher band, you should learn specific terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use the correct parts of speech (e.g., 'economic' as an adjective vs. 'economy' as a noun).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing have highest rank'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple and often contain errors in punctuation and word order. Complex structures are attempted but are consistently faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using articles correctly before nouns. Consistent practice with simple, error-free sentences is a necessary first step before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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