Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the given stats represents the information of the number of employment in four sectors of the economy int united nations between 1960 and 2020.
overall, we can se that the highest job provider in the us economy in the year 1960 is manufacturing industries and the least one is healthcare sector and till the end of 2020 the least job provider is agriculture sector and the highest are healthcare and retail sectors.
the record shows that in early years the manufacturing industries are the best employment providers because they gave 15 million off jobs in the us economy. Apart from that the healthcare sector has provided very less no of jobs and retail and agriculture industries has provided average no of jobs .
As the years pass all the four sectors has increase and decrease in their jobs, till the year 2020 the top job provider of 1960s has comes to second number it provides approx. 13 million of jobs and healthcare and retail has becomes the top job providers in the us economy they both provide 16 millions of jobs and the least provider is agriculture it has totally decreased form 1960 to 2020 from 6 million to 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview and identifies key trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the report mentions '15 million off jobs' for manufacturing in 1960, but the data interpretation is inconsistent throughout the text. The summary of the main features is present, but the comparison between sectors could be more effectively developed to highlight the relative changes over the 60-year period. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that the comparison between the four sectors is more structured and analytical rather than just descriptive.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'Apart from that' and 'As the years pass' are used to transition between ideas, but the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the shifts in rankings between sectors. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the logical progression of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'the given stats represents' (should be 'represent'), 'very less no of jobs' (should be 'a very small number of jobs'), and 'has comes to second number'. The repetition of basic terms like 'job provider' and 'industries' limits the lexical variety. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', 'declined steadily', or 'accounted for'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('all the four sectors has increase'), incorrect verb tenses ('has becomes'), and punctuation errors. The misuse of articles and prepositions is also noticeable throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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