Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, there are four sectors of jobs in the economy of the USA. Agriculture sector is holding the lowest one. The manufacturing industry has reached its peak delivering fifteen million jobs in the USA. While health care and retail sectors in 2020 remains same.
Healthcare jobs sector in 1960 started and soared after three decades by providing fifteen million jobs in 2020. While agriculture market confronted a drastic fall by becoming the lowest sector to generate jobs in the USA. The manufacturing industry in 1960 became the biggest sector by providing fifteen million jobs. It further sharply increases after two decades. In 1980 it provided twenty million jobs in the USA. It slightly decreases in 2000 and further saw a fall in 2020.Health care and retail sectors generated same level of jobs 2020. Both sectors created fifteen million of jobs in 2020 in the US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the statement that the manufacturing industry reached its peak at fifteen million jobs is inaccurate based on the visual data provided, which shows higher figures in the 1980s. Additionally, the description of the trends is occasionally confusing, such as the claim that healthcare and retail remained the same in 2020 while also stating they reached the same level. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant trends, such as the overall decline of agriculture versus the growth of service-related sectors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow between sentences is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices like 'While' and 'In 1980' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly, leading to confusion. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors in the final paragraph. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the smooth connectivity required for a higher band, as the relationship between the data points is not always explicitly linked.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety needed for a higher score. There is some repetition of basic phrases like 'providing fifteen million jobs' and 'in the USA'. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'sectors', 'economy', and 'manufacturing industry', the range is limited. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'Agriculture sector is holding the lowest one'. To improve, the student should focus on using a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated collocations to describe trends and data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'illustrates number of jobs'), tense inconsistencies (e.g., 'remains same' instead of 'remained the same'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Healthcare jobs sector in 1960 started and soared'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the control over complex structures is weak, leading to errors in subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. The student needs to focus on basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that verb tenses are used consistently when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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