Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the data about the employment of various field in the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it shows that, the manufacturing sectors have accounted for the largest numbers of jobs in all years excepts 2020. while the figures for healthcare and agriculture were accounted the lowest numbers of employment.
In addition, the figures for retail, agriculture and healthcare were 5.2 and 2.7 million jobs respectively. whereas 15 million employees were worked at manufacturing in 1960.which was increased 5 million and stopped at 20 million at the end of 1980. after that, the numbers of jobs were declined around 7 million jobs in 2020. agriculture and retail sectors showed the increment of employment each 20 years . on the other hand , healthcare was the only field that has flucated ratio of jobs in a
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete and lacks a clear overview of the trends across all four sectors. The description of the data is often confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing was the largest sector in all years except 2020, which is not clearly supported by the provided data. Furthermore, the response ends abruptly mid-sentence, leaving the analysis unfinished. To improve, ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall trends and include all necessary data points while meeting the minimum length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks logical progression and coherent paragraphing. The sentences are often disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is mechanical or incorrect, such as starting sentences with 'In addition' or 'whereas' without proper grammatical connection to the previous clause. The abrupt ending of the text significantly disrupts the flow of information. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and linking your ideas with appropriate transition words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' to guide the reader through your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'numbers of jobs' and 'increment'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'employment of various field' instead of 'employment in various sectors' and 'flucated ratio of jobs'. The spelling error 'flucated' also detracts from the quality of the writing. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined', or 'remained stable', and ensure you use these words in the correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('figures... were accounted the lowest'), incorrect verb tenses ('employees were worked'), and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary commas and periods within sentences. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and avoiding the use of passive voice where active voice is more natural. Proofreading for basic punctuation and tense consistency is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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