Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage before falling after reaching a peak in one period, while the retail and healthcare sectors followed an upward trajectory, but the agriculture field presented a downward trajectory.
Firstly, the manufacturing sector revealed significant growth and jumped from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980. The retail sector experienced a gradual rise from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980. Additionally, the agriculture sector displayed a sharp decline and moved from 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980. The healthcare category surpassed the agriculture sector and rose from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.
In addition, the manufacturing sector witnessed a sharp decline and reduced from 17 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020. Moreover, the retail sector followed an upward trend and stood at 15 million in 2000, while surpassing the manufacturing industry and climbing to 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the healthcare sector showed steady growth and accounted for 11 million jobs in 2000, but it surpassed the manufacturing class and contributed 16 million jobs at the end of the period. In contrast, the agriculture sector showcased a plateaued trend and stayed at 3 million in 2000 as compared to 2 million at the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting when the healthcare sector surpassed the agriculture sector. The data is accurately reported, and the key features are highlighted effectively. To reach a higher band, ensure that you provide a more integrated comparison rather than listing data chronologically for each sector. For instance, grouping sectors by their overall trajectory (growth vs. decline) would strengthen the analytical quality of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', 'In addition', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader through the information. The progression of ideas is clear, and each paragraph has a central focus. However, some of the transitions feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary the sentence structure to allow for more natural flow between ideas, rather than relying solely on sentence-initial linking words.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'upward trajectory', 'sharp decline', and 'plateaued trend'. You use sector-specific terminology appropriately. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'the manufacturing sector witnessed an upward trend at the initial stage', which could be phrased more naturally. To improve, aim to use more sophisticated synonyms for 'rise' and 'fall' and ensure that your word choices are consistently precise in an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your meaning is consistently clear. There are some minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'illustrates the data about' (which should be 'illustrates the data on') and 'at the initial stage' (which is slightly awkward). While you have good control over basic structures, the range of complex grammatical forms is somewhat limited. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more varied subordinate clauses and passive constructions to describe the data more formally.
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