Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph below compares the information about number of jobs in four different fields of the economy in the US.
Overall ,manufacturing and agricultural shows upward and downward trends during the time period while retail and healthcare shows only rose over the duration of time.
On the one hand ,manufacturing and agriculture demonstrate rise and fall during [redacted phone].Jobs of production in [redacted phone] increases and reach up to 20.After that ,work in processing decreases drastically and fall to 13.However ,employment in agriculture drops from [redacted phone] and reduce to 2.
On the other hand ,careers in retail and healthcare skyrocketing from [redacted phone].During the time period ,health service almost on 0.If shows an incredible rise in the field and climb up to 16.Although ,retail is also on a very low scale during the start.After that ,it also indicates an unbelievable rose in the field selling and it also escalates as same as healthcare.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides an overview and identifies key trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For example, stating that healthcare was 'almost on 0' in 1960 is a misinterpretation of the graph, and the description of manufacturing trends is somewhat confusing. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data points and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors limit the score. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately read and that the relationship between the sectors is clearly articulated rather than just listing trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. Some sentences are disjointed, and the logical progression between ideas is sometimes unclear. For instance, the transition 'If shows an incredible rise' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. While there are attempts to use descriptive verbs like 'skyrocketing' and 'escalates', these are often used incorrectly in context (e.g., 'unbelievable rose'). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'fields of the economy' instead of 'sectors'. The range is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but the lack of precision and frequent errors in collocation prevent a higher score. Focusing on learning topic-specific vocabulary for data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'peaked', would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing and agricultural shows'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'increases and reach'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the punctuation is sometimes erratic. To reach a higher band, you should focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent tense usage when describing historical data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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