Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph compare the information about the number of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the graph represent the highest jobs is manufacturing is 20 millions . While in contrast the fewest is healthcare 2 millions.
To began with, agriculture that start at 6 millions in 1960 and fell at 3 millions. In period between 1983 to 2000 it remain stable and in 2020 it little dropped at one millions. On the other hand, manufacturing is the number of job it start at 15 millions in 1960 and then go up at 20 millions. In 2000 , it decreased at 16 millions and at last it significantly drip at 13 millions.
Returning to remaining jobs retail and healthcare, they both are increased but show different number of jobs. Furthermore, they both are end 16 mill
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the four sectors and attempted to describe the trends, the analysis is incomplete. The conclusion is cut off mid-sentence, and you have not fully reported the data for all categories. To improve, ensure you provide a complete overview and cover all data points clearly. You should also avoid simply listing numbers; instead, focus on comparing the sectors and highlighting the most significant changes over the 60-year period to provide a more comprehensive summary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks a clear structure due to the incomplete ending. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall', 'To begin with', and 'On the other hand', the flow is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but the final paragraph is underdeveloped and unfinished, which hinders the logical progression of your ideas. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that you use a wider variety of linking words to connect your comparisons more smoothly. Ensure your response is complete to maintain a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'start', 'fell', and 'increased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'little dropped' instead of 'dropped slightly' and 'significantly drip' instead of 'dropped significantly'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained steady', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Additionally, ensure you use the correct terminology for data reporting to avoid ambiguity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The graph compare', 'the graph represent'), incorrect tense usage ('agriculture that start'), and awkward sentence construction ('manufacturing is the number of job it start'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and your attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage. Practice using a wider range of complex structures, such as relative clauses or passive voice, while ensuring they are grammatically accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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