Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the idea of employment in four sectors of united states till 1960 to 2020Overall, the Occupation of healthcare dominating and take first place the Profession of retail are similar to healthcare. however the manufacturing position takes a good start but end up with dipping down. Moreover the agricultureCareer keep slumping till 2020.Initially, the jobs of healthcare begain not well but take a sharp grow year by year and reach its peak value which is 15 in 2020. Furthermore the Gig of retail start good with 5 and after a surge at 15in 2020 same as healthcare.On the other hand the Occupation of manufacturing make a terrific start at 15 and climbe to 20 after 20 years but plummet at 2020. Nevertheless the Profession of agriculture start at 5 as like healthcare buy fall down after twenty years remain stable in twenty years but decline at 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing trends. However, the overview is weak and lacks clarity, as the phrasing 'the Occupation of healthcare dominating' is grammatically problematic and imprecise. While the main features are mentioned, the description of the data is often confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing 'climbe to 20 after 20 years' without clear reference to the timeline. The response would benefit from a more structured approach, clearly separating the overview from the specific data points to ensure all parts of the task are fully developed and easy to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, which is essential for a clear response. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Initially', they are often used incorrectly or in a way that makes the flow mechanical. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences are disjointed and the relationships between the data points are not clearly established. To improve, you should group related information into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of linking words to connect your sentences more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive, with frequent misuse of terms like 'Occupation', 'Profession', 'Career', and 'Gig' to refer to economic sectors. These words are not interchangeable in this context. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'begain not well' and 'take a sharp grow'. To reach a higher band, you need to use more precise terminology related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined') and avoid using informal or incorrect labels for the sectors provided in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'healthcare dominating', 'agricultureCareer keep slumping'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack necessary articles and prepositions. While there is an attempt to use complex ideas, the lack of control over basic grammar prevents the use of a wide range of structures. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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