Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph undermentioned illustrates the details about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between various years.
Overall, There is a drastic decrease happened in manufacturing department. However, Healthcare sector had grown most among all the categories. Although, Jobs in agriculture sectors became lessen over the years.
It it clearly seen that, In 1960 the healthcare occupations were around 3 millions which has grown to 15 millions at the end of 2020. Similary, In retails sectors ; A massive increase being seen. In 1960 it was about 6 millions which went to 15 milions as well.
Moreover, Other two job groups maintained an average position. In the intial years they were on balanced levels; the job productions was about 15 millions in manufacturing which diminshed to 13 millions. In agriculture it was about 6 millions which reduced to 2 millions. Nevertheless, All job groups kept an adequate level between the years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For example, the description of the manufacturing and agriculture sectors as 'balanced' is inaccurate given the clear downward trends shown in the data. Furthermore, the overview is slightly disjointed, and some data points are imprecise or misstated (e.g., the claim that manufacturing was 15 million in the initial years). To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and that the overview highlights the most significant shifts rather than just listing categories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. For instance, the transition 'Although, Jobs in agriculture...' is grammatically incorrect and does not function as a cohesive link. Additionally, the punctuation is frequently faulty, with unnecessary commas and semicolons (e.g., 'In retails sectors ; A massive increase being seen'). The progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow because the sentences do not flow logically from one to the next. Improving the use of linking words and refining paragraph structure will significantly enhance the clarity of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'grown', 'increase', and 'reduced'. There are also several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard phrasing, such as 'jobs productions', 'became lessen', and 'graph undermentioned'. Spelling errors, such as 'Similary', 'milions', 'intial', and 'diminshed', are frequent enough to be noticeable. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed') and ensure accurate spelling and word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('There is a drastic decrease happened'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction ('In 1960 the healthcare occupations were around 3 millions which has grown to 15 millions'). Punctuation is also a major issue, with random capitalisation and incorrect comma usage throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for grammatical consistency is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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