Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of occupations in four different sectors, which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of the conservation in the US in the years, 1960. and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that retail and healthcare sector experinced the higher trend while manufacturing and agriculture declined in the given period of time but manufacturing is the only field which met the higher position.
In 1960, retail sector was at around 6 million for jobs and showed a steady growth till 2000 and with slightly rose to around 16 million jobs, while healthcare showed similar growth started at around 3 million and ends as same as retail number.
However, manufacturing goods sector had the highest jobs started for 15 million in 1960, and with rapid growth to 20 million in 1980, after that the jobs was dramatically decreased till the end of the period at around 14 million in 2020. Agriculture had around 6 million jobs in 1960, and it showed constant ratio from 1980 to 2020 and end at around 3 million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. However, there are inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that manufacturing 'met the higher position' at the end of the period, but the graph shows it was surpassed by retail and healthcare. Additionally, the description of the agriculture trend as having a 'constant ratio' is imprecise. While you identify the main features, the lack of precision in data interpretation and the misreading of the graph's final trends prevent this from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure that your summary of the data is factually accurate and that you clearly distinguish between the starting and ending points of each trend.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'and with slightly rose' or 'and ends as same as'. Some transitions are missing or used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of the argument. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within sentences needs more variety and better control to ensure that the relationship between ideas is clearly articulated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is limited and contains several errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'experinced the higher trend' and 'met the higher position' are unnatural. There are also minor spelling errors, such as 'experinced'. You rely on basic descriptors like 'higher' and 'growth' rather than more precise academic terminology. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more varied and accurate vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include incorrect verb forms ('experinced', 'was dramatically decreased'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('the jobs was'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the first paragraph with the period after '1960'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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