Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrate job opportunities in 04 areas of economy in united states time ranges between 1960 to 2020,

overall, jobs in two sectors( manufacturing and Agricultural) reduce over the years on the other hand there significant amount of raise in job in remaining two sectors (retail and healthcare)

with regard of the Graph it shows incline in the 03 sectors manufacturing , retail and health care from 1960 to 1980 as opposed to the remaining sector Agricultural which shows constant decline moreover the downfall is more in first 20 years which is from 5 million to 3 million and in between next 20 years line shows almost no changes but in last 20 years it declines more almost no job opportunity.

furthermore, in 1960 maximum jobs were available in manufacturing which is 15 million and it keeps getting raise reaches to 20 million even its lowest is almost 13 million .to sum up maximum availability is in manufacturing and minimum jobs available in Agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, you state that manufacturing jobs reached 20 million, which is not supported by the provided data. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat confusing, particularly the claim that three sectors showed an incline from 1960 to 1980, which contradicts the visual data for manufacturing. While you identify the overall trends of decline in agriculture and manufacturing versus growth in retail and healthcare, the lack of precision in reporting the data points limits the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the specific figures provided in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, appearing as a single block of text. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'overall', 'furthermore', and 'to sum up', the logical flow is disrupted by poor sentence construction and punctuation. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of clear paragraphing makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information. To improve, organize your response into distinct paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs detailing specific data points. Ensure that each sentence connects logically to the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'jobs', 'shows', and 'decline'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'time ranges between' and 'getting raise'. Some phrasing is awkward, such as 'with regard of the Graph'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with the precision required for an Academic Task 1 response. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plateau', 'dramatic', and 'gradual', and practice using these in context to describe changes in data accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph illustrate'), missing articles (e.g., 'in united states'), and incorrect preposition usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple or poorly constructed, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and inconsistent capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structure, including subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'while', 'whereas', and 'although' to improve your grammatical range.

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