Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the various jobs in four significant sectors of economy within a period of from 1960 to 2020 in the united state.
Overall, the given data shows that jobs in healthcare sector follow an upward bend from initial to final year. On the other side Manufacturing sector ranked first Agriculture sector follow the downward bend in the whole given time period.
To begin with, in the 1980, manufacturing sector ranked first Retail and Healthcare sector, the numbers of jobs was same about 16mbain The last year.
The numbers of jobs approx 2 million remain constut from 1980 to 2000 in Agriculture sector. 6 millions jobs were in Age Retail sector in newtuch gradually increase in 1980.
Further details conclude that, 5 millions jobs were in Retail sector in the 1980 which boost up in further ongoing years. In the initial year, jobs in retail and agriculture sectors were same abor near about 6 millions and it were was approxmatel 9 millions less than manufacturing sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the main features of the graph, but it fails to provide a clear or accurate overview. The data points mentioned are often confusing or contradictory, such as the claim that manufacturing, retail, and healthcare had the same number of jobs in 1980. Furthermore, the description of trends is imprecise, and the lack of clarity regarding the specific figures makes it difficult for the reader to follow the information presented. To improve, you should focus on identifying the most significant trends—such as the steady growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture—and ensure that the data cited is accurate and clearly linked to the years provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as 'To begin with' and 'Further details conclude that,' which do not always logically connect the sentences that follow. Additionally, the referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to determine which sector is being discussed at certain points. The paragraphing is present but does not effectively group related information, which hinders the overall flow of the report. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard phrasing, such as 'upward bend,' 'constut,' and 'newtuch.' These errors, combined with the misuse of terminology, occasionally impede communication. While you are able to name the sectors, you struggle to use more sophisticated language to describe trends or comparisons. To reach a higher band, you should work on using more precise vocabulary for describing data, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant decline,' and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The line graph illustrate'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. Many sentences are fragmented or lack the necessary articles and prepositions to be grammatically sound. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often faulty and lead to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms before finalizing your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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