Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph provides the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing , retail , agriculture and healthcare in the United states between the year 1960 , 1980 , 2000 , 2020 .
To embark with it is noticeable that . Firstly , the manufacturing sector contributes around 15 million jobs in 1960 then it grown up to 20 million in 1980 and 17 million in 2000 , 13 million in 2020 . Secondly , the retail sector in 1960 it gives around 6 million it climbs up to 10 million in 1980 , 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 . Thirdly the healthcare sector is donates around 2 million jobs in 1960 then go upwards to 5 million in 1980 , 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 , At the end , its agriculture sector around 6 million in 1960 then it constantly comes down to 3 million in 1980 same 3 million in 2000 also and 2.5 million in 2020
Overall it become apparent that the healthcare and retail sector was on the boom and agriculture sector was continuously decreasing at last the agriculture sector was not constant
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the specified years. However, the reporting is largely a list of figures rather than a summary of main features and trends. While you identify that healthcare and retail increased and agriculture decreased, the lack of comparative analysis (e.g., comparing the growth rates or the final figures between sectors) limits the score. The overview is also quite brief and lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, focus on grouping the data by trends rather than listing every year for every sector, and ensure you highlight the most significant changes or intersections in the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the internal structure is mechanical. The use of transition words like 'To embark with', 'Firstly', and 'Secondly' feels forced and repetitive. Furthermore, the sentences are often disjointed, making the flow of information feel like a list rather than a cohesive report. The final paragraph is particularly weak, as it lacks clear logical progression and uses awkward phrasing like 'at last the agriculture sector was not constant'. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that sentences are linked logically to create a smooth narrative flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic verbs like 'grown up', 'climbs up', and 'go upwards'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'is donates' instead of 'donated' or 'accounted for', and 'on the boom' instead of 'booming' or 'experiencing significant growth'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'a significant upward trend', and avoid informal or grammatically incorrect phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the manufacturing sector contributes around 15 million jobs in 1960' (tense inconsistency), 'the healthcare sector is donates' (incorrect verb form), and 'it become apparent' (subject-verb agreement). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To improve, focus on maintaining consistent tense usage when describing past data and work on subject-verb agreement. Aim to combine simple sentences into more complex structures using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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