Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates information abut the number of jobes in four sectors - manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the demand of healthcare worker and retail had gradually increased from 1960 to 2020.However,workers from manufacturing and agriculture had faced chellenges to find jobes from 1980to 2020.

Manufacturing and healthcare shared similar initial upward trends between 1960 to 1980, respectivelly 5 million jobes had been increased in both feild.However, from 1980 to 2020 ,job opportunity had decreased upto 6 millions in the sector of manufacturing and on the other hand, the demand of healthcare profesional has been gradually rising.

Retail worker has never faced chellenges since 1960 to 2020 ,initially job opportunity had been gradually increased from 1960 to 2000

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the task. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete. For instance, the description of the retail sector is cut off abruptly, and the agriculture sector is mentioned in the overview but not adequately detailed in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive summary of all four sectors across the entire time period, including specific data points to support your comparisons. The current length prevents a fully developed response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical progression is hindered by the incomplete nature of the final paragraph. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'However' and 'on the other hand', but they are sometimes used mechanically or with punctuation errors. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is somewhat disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, complete topic sentence followed by supporting data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'abut' (about), 'jobes' (jobs), 'chellenges' (challenges), 'feild' (field), and 'profesional' (professional). These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. While you have attempted to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'manufacturing' and 'healthcare', the lack of precision and the recurring spelling mistakes limit your ability to convey information effectively. Focus on proofreading your work to eliminate basic spelling errors and try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'demand of healthcare worker... had gradually increased') and tense usage (e.g., 'job opportunity had been gradually increased'). Punctuation is also problematic, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. To improve, practice basic sentence construction and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent with the time frame provided in the graph. Reviewing the rules for pluralisation and article usage will also help raise your score.

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