Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph represents that number of jobs in four sectors .the first one is manufacturing second one is the retail third is agricultures and the last one is healthcare.

In 1960 jobs in manufacturing was 15millions and with the passage of time jobs ratio increase.in 1900 the job ratio reached 20millions.after 1900 jobs ratio badly decreases time by time and reached 18millions.

Retail:

number of jobs in retail 1960 was 7 millions and with the passage of time jobs were increasing in 1900 the job ratio 10millions .jobs ratio contineuselly increasing and reached 16millions in 2020.

Agriculture: the jobs ratio in 1960 was 6 millions .with the passage of time jobs ratio regularly decreases and reached 2 millions in 2020.

Healthcare:

jobs ratio in healthcare in 1960 was 2 millions. with the passage of jobs ratio in healthcare increasing in 1900 it was reached 5 millions .but it was increasing time by time and reached 15millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response covers all four sectors, but the presentation is problematic. The use of bullet points and fragmented headings is not appropriate for an IELTS Academic Task 1 report, which requires a cohesive essay format. Furthermore, there are significant factual errors in the data reporting; for instance, the text mentions '1900' as a data point, whereas the graph covers 1960 to 2020. The overview is missing, as the response jumps directly into specific data points without summarizing the main trends or making meaningful comparisons between the sectors. The lack of an overview and the inclusion of incorrect dates severely limit the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response lacks a logical structure. The use of headings like 'Retail:' and 'Agriculture:' disrupts the flow of the text and prevents the development of a coherent narrative. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; instead, the writing relies on repetitive sentence structures such as 'with the passage of time'. Paragraphing is not used effectively, as the response is broken into disjointed sections rather than unified paragraphs. The progression of information is mechanical and lacks the necessary flow expected at higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'jobs ratio' and 'with the passage of time' are used repeatedly throughout the text, indicating a lack of lexical variety. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'badly decreases' and 'contineuselly', which are not standard collocations. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately (e.g., using 'increase' or 'decrease' without specifying the rate or significance of the change). To improve, you should learn synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and practice using them in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in manufacturing was 15millions'), article usage, and punctuation. The sentence structures are simple and repetitive, lacking the complexity required for higher bands. Many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as 'the first one is manufacturing second one is the retail'. The misuse of numbers and dates (e.g., '1900' instead of '1990' or '2000') further complicates the accuracy of the information provided.

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