Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the data about four different types of job sectors to the conversion in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, in the US, manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs than other in the given time period although, it declined. Retail and healthcare, both sectors showed an upward trend while agriculture sector declined till onwards.
Firstly, retail had around 6 million jobs in the starting year of 1960, and it steadily increased to 15 million in 2000, with ended with slightly increased around 16 million in 2020. Healthcare sector started from around 3 million jobs in 1960, which instantly increased from 5 million in 1980 to reached at same level as retail sector of around 16 million.
The jobs in manufacturing sector were more than other sectors of 15 million in 1960, which further rose to 20 million in 1980 but it dramatically fell to around 14 million in 2020. Agriculture sector showed a downward trend in the given period. it started same as retail sector at around 6 million in 1960, with constant declined from 1980 to 2020 at around 2 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. The overview is clear, highlighting the contrasting trajectories of the sectors. However, the report of data is occasionally imprecise, such as stating the manufacturing sector had the 'highest number of jobs' in 1960 when the graph shows it was clearly surpassed by others at certain points, or misinterpreting the starting values for agriculture. While the main features are selected, the analysis could be more accurate regarding the specific data points provided in the graph to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Overall', and 'in the given time period', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'till onwards' or 'with ended with'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though the internal structure of the sentences sometimes lacks fluidity due to grammatical issues.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends using terms like 'upward trend', 'declined', and 'dramatically fell'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'to the conversion' in the introduction and 'instantly increased' to describe a long-term trend. The range is sufficient to convey the main points, but the lack of precision in collocation and some repetitive phrasing limit the score. More varied vocabulary for describing data changes would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector', 'the agriculture sector'), verb tenses, and sentence construction ('which ended with slightly increased', 'it started same as retail'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional usage would improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.