Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Firstly, for the manufacturing job, the number of jobs were 15 millions in the 1960, then it gradually increased till 1980. But after 1980, it gradually decreased through 2000 till 2020 when it reaches about ten and a half millions of jobs.
Secondly, for the retail job, in the 1960, the number of jobs were slightly higher than 5 millions, then it gradually increased through 1980 till 2000 when it reaches 15 millions of jobs, then it slightly increased till 2020.
Thirdly, in case of agriculture job, there were a very little number of jobs in the 1960, approximately two and a half millions. Eventually, it increased gradually through all the years till 2020 when it reaches 15 millions of jobs.
Last but not the least, in the domain of healthcare job, it was slightly higher than five millions of jobs in the 1960. But it is unfortunate that the number of jobs drastically decreased after that till 1980, then it was stable for 20 years. Also, we can see that after the year 2000, the number of jobs in healthcare decreased slightly in the next 20 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the start and end of the period. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical, listing trends for each sector individually rather than synthesizing the information or highlighting key comparisons effectively. The overview is missing; a summary of the most significant trends (e.g., the growth in retail and agriculture versus the decline in manufacturing and healthcare) is essential for a higher band. Additionally, there are inaccuracies in the data interpretation, such as the claim that agriculture reached 15 million jobs, which does not align with typical graph data for this task type. The response would benefit from a more analytical approach that groups similar trends together.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. The use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Thirdly' is clear, though somewhat repetitive and mechanical. The progression of ideas is logical, moving sector by sector. However, the lack of an introductory overview and a concluding summary limits the overall coherence. To improve, you should use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences more fluidly, rather than relying on a list-like structure for each paragraph.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently use the phrase 'number of jobs' and 'gradually increased', which makes the writing repetitive. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'manufacturing job' (should be 'manufacturing sector') and 'in case of agriculture job'. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate a broader range of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stagnant', or 'experienced a downward trend'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Subject-verb agreement is often incorrect, such as 'the number of jobs were' (should be 'was'). There are also issues with article usage and pluralization, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million') and 'a very little number of jobs'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of quantifiers will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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