Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the number of employments in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of healthcare and retail jobs showed a gradual increase throughout the period while the manufacturing and agricultural sectors experienced changes before stabilizing.

Initially, the healthcare department recorded around 3 million jobs before increasing to 5 million in 1980 and nearly 11 million in 2000. By the end of the period, the figures were slightly above 15 million. Similarly, the retail sector had slightly above 5 million jobs in 1960. This figures went up to 10 million in 1980 and by the end of the period, it had recorded a figure slightly above 15 million .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the task is only partially addressed; while the healthcare and retail sectors are described, the manufacturing and agricultural sectors—which were mentioned in the overview—are completely omitted from the body paragraphs. This lack of data coverage means the main features of the graph are not fully reported. To improve, you must ensure all categories presented in the prompt are analysed and that you write a sufficiently detailed response to cover the data comprehensively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction and an overview. Cohesive devices such as 'Similarly' and 'Initially' are used to link ideas, though the progression is cut short by the premature ending of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of body paragraphs for the remaining two sectors makes the overall structure feel incomplete. To reach a higher band, ensure that each sector is given its own analysis or grouped logically, and use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'gradual increase', 'stabilizing', and 'recorded' used correctly. However, there are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'number of employments' (employment is usually uncountable in this context) and 'healthcare department' (sector is more appropriate). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms for trends and avoid repeating the same sentence structures when describing data points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'This figures went up' (should be 'These figures') and 'number of employments'. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they indicate a lack of control over pluralisation and subject-verb agreement. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and attempt to vary your sentence structures further by using more complex subordinating conjunctions or participle phrases to describe the trends.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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