Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of employments in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of healthcare and retail jobs showed a gradual increase throughout the period while the manufacturing and agricultural sectors experienced changes before stabilizing.
Initially, the healthcare department had around 3 million jobs before. This values increased to 5 million in 1980 and nearly 11 million in 2000. By the end of the period, the figures were slightly above 15 million. Similarly, the retail sector had slightly above 5 million jobs in 1960. This figures went up to 10 million in 1980 and by the end of the period, it had recorded a figure slightly above 15 million.
On the other hand, the agricultural sector had just above 5 million jobs in 1960. This numbers decreased gradually to around 3 million in 1980, and by the end of the period it recorded just below 3 million jobs. The manufacturing sector filled 15 million employments in 1960. This values increased substantially to 20 million in 1980, before declining to around 17 million in 2000, and nearly 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response successfully identifies the main trends and provides a clear overview of the data. You have selected key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in agriculture and the fluctuation in manufacturing. However, the report could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the sectors, rather than just listing the data for each one sequentially. For example, noting that healthcare and retail ended at similar levels, or contrasting the peak of manufacturing with the steady rise of the other sectors, would provide a more analytical approach. The data points are generally accurate and support the summary well.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors effectively (growth vs. decline/fluctuation). Cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'On the other hand', and 'before' are used to link ideas. However, the paragraphing and flow could be more sophisticated. Some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing (e.g., 'This values', 'This figures') is occasionally repetitive. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'gradual increase', 'stabilizing', and 'substantially'. However, there are consistent errors in word choice and number agreement, such as 'number of employments' (employment is uncountable here) and 'This values' (should be 'These values'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more precise collocations and ensure that plural/singular agreement is consistent when referring to data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are recurring grammatical errors, particularly with demonstrative pronouns and number agreement (e.g., 'This values', 'This figures', 'This numbers'). These errors occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. While you demonstrate an ability to use complex structures, the accuracy of these structures is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of determiners will significantly improve your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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