Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph illustrates the detail about the number of posts in four sectors of the economy in the united states between 1960 and 2020.
Overall there were a different four sectors and had a comparison between them . These were manufacturing , retail , agriculture and health care . Retail had a highest jobs while comparing agriculture had a lowest number of posts .
In 1960 manufacturing had a highest number of jobs it was about 15 million and increased slightly towards 20 million and it dropped in year 2000 nearly 15 million and decreased rapidly in 2020 while comparing Agriculture it had a minimum number of jobs over 5 million and dropped rapidly in 2020 it was below about 5 million .
In 1960 health care had nearly 5 million posts and rose quickly in 2020 and it was around 15 million as compared to retail it was less then 5 -million and increased slightly towards 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify the sectors and some trends, the description of the data is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that 'Retail had a highest jobs' contradicts the graph, which shows manufacturing and health care having higher figures at various points. The overview is also weak, as it does not clearly highlight the most significant trends, such as the dramatic growth in health care versus the decline in manufacturing. To improve, ensure you carefully check the data points against the graph and provide a more precise summary of the overall trends rather than just listing individual fluctuations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'while comparing' or 'in 1960'. The logical progression between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, making it difficult to follow the comparison between sectors. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'whereas') to connect your ideas more fluidly and improve the overall flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'posts', 'increased', and 'decreased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'had a highest jobs' (should be 'had the highest number of jobs') and 'less then 5-million' (should be 'less than 5 million'). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire to include more academic collocations and synonyms for trends would significantly enhance your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in year 2000'), incorrect prepositions, and punctuation errors. For example, 'it was about 15 million and increased slightly towards 20 million and it dropped in year 2000' is a run-on sentence that lacks proper punctuation. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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