Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of healthcare and retail jobs showed a gradual increase throughout the period while the manufacturing and agricultural sectors experienced changes before stabilizing. Additionally, the gap between the number of jobs in manufacturing sector and agricultural sector was quite noticeable.
Initially, the healthcare department had around 3 million jobs. These values increased to 5 million in 1980 and nearly 11 million in 2000. By the end of the period, the figures were slightly above 15 million. Similarly, the retail sector had slightly above 5 million jobs in 1960. These figures went up to 10 million in 1980 and by the end of the period, it had recorded a figure slightly above 15 million.
On the other hand, the agricultural sector had just above 5 million jobs in 1960. These numbers decreased gradually to around 3 million in 1980, and by the end of the period it recorded just below 3 million jobs. The manufacturing sector filled 15 million jobs in 1960. These values increased substantially to 20 million in 1980, before declining to around 17 million in 2000, and nearly 13 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response effectively covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You have successfully highlighted the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons are more integrated; for instance, instead of listing data for each sector in separate paragraphs, you could group sectors with similar trends to create a more analytical comparison. Overall, the task is well-addressed with accurate data reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is smooth, and you use cohesive devices such as 'Similarly', 'On the other hand', and 'Additionally' to link your points effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the growing sectors from those that experienced decline or fluctuation. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow could be improved by using more varied transition words to avoid a slightly mechanical feel in the structure of the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey information clearly. Phrases like 'experienced changes before stabilizing' and 'increased substantially' are used effectively. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the reliance on 'figures', 'values', and 'numbers'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for data points (e.g., 'proportions', 'levels', 'statistics') and more sophisticated collocations to describe trends. The current range is adequate for the task but lacks the flexibility and precision required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and the grammar is generally accurate. Most sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is good. There are occasional minor issues, such as 'manufacturing sector' missing an article ('the manufacturing sector'). While you have used some complex structures, increasing the variety of your sentence patterns—such as using more participial phrases or relative clauses—would enhance the grammatical range. The errors present do not impede communication at all.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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