Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following line chart depicts the number of jobs in four economic sectors in USA from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, healthcare and retail were the sectors which experienced a gradual upward trend throughout this period, however this trend was more noticeable in healthcare sector as it started from minimum number of jobs. While on the contrary manufacturing department plummeted down to a lowest level by 2020.
Start with the healthcare domain which started from a lowest job market of 2 million positions among all the listed sectors, this number increased dramatically to 11 million by 1980 to further 16 million by 2000 before reaching a maximum of 15 million in 2020. Similarly Retail department also experienced a noticeable increase as it had 6 million jobs in 1960 compare to 15 million in 2000. Subsequently this number further edged up to 16 million in 2020.
Moreover manufacturing domain increases significantly by 15 million to 20 million jobs during 1960 to 1980 before being plunged to 13 million by 2020. Additionally agriculture sector also went through a dip during initial years where the number of jobs dropped from 6 million to 3 million between 1960 to 1980. However it remained unchanged during for the next 20 years before being edged down to 2 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. You successfully highlight the overall growth in healthcare and retail, and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report contains some inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state healthcare reached a maximum of 15 million in 2020, but the graph shows it peaking at 16 million. Additionally, you mention manufacturing increased to 20 million by 1980, while the graph indicates a peak closer to 18 million. Precision is vital in Task 1; ensure you read the axes and data points carefully to avoid misrepresenting the information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'While on the contrary', 'Similarly', and 'Moreover' helps guide the reader through the comparisons. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Start with the healthcare domain', which lacks a proper subject. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the sectors. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the flow between sentences is more natural and less repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'edged up', and 'economic sectors'. However, there are some word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'manufacturing department' (should be 'sector') and 'lowest job market' (which is not standard usage). You also have some minor errors in phrasing, such as 'compare to' instead of 'compared to'. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and ensure that your collocations are natural for an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles (e.g., 'in USA', 'in healthcare sector') and tense inconsistencies. You also have issues with prepositions and verb forms, such as 'manufacturing domain increases' (should be past tense 'increased') and 'remained unchanged during for the next 20 years' (redundant preposition). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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