Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of job in four different sectors of the economy in the United States such as manufacturing, retail, farming and healthcare services from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest value among the four categories, but experienced a significant decline. Agriculture faced a dramatic drew, and became the lowest value category. In contrast, healthcare had the lowest number of jobs in the beginning, and showed a considerable increase over the period.

The manufacturing had the largest number of employments among the four categories, and increased from 15 millions jobs in 1960 to 20 millions jobs before decreasing to just below 15 millions employments in 2020. While, healthcare services had the smallest number of jobs in the beginning, and showed a considerable growth, increasing from around 2 millions jobs to just above 15 millions employments in the end, becoming the highest value in 2020.

The retail saw a significant rise, incline from just above 5 millions jobs to just above 15 millions employments, surpassing the manufacturing after 2000, reaching to approximately the same value of healthcare in 2020. The agriculture had the same number of employments of the retail jobs in 1960, and experienced a dramatic drew, decreasing from 5 millions jobs to around 2 millions employments in 2020, becoming the lowest value among the four categories.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, and the growth in healthcare and retail. The overview is clear and highlights the most significant changes. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, you state manufacturing reached 20 million jobs, whereas the graph shows it peaking closer to 18-19 million. Additionally, the phrasing 'dramatic drew' is unclear and does not accurately describe a trend. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely from the axes and use standard terminology for trends (e.g., 'sharp decline' instead of 'dramatic drew').

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, and you use cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'While', and 'However' to link information. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'The manufacturing had...' and 'The retail saw...'. The use of 'The' before sector names is often unnecessary and makes the flow feel slightly repetitive. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and refining the use of articles would help the essay achieve a more natural and sophisticated flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, using terms like 'significant decline', 'considerable growth', and 'surpassing'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'dramatic drew' (likely intended to be 'dramatic drop') and 'incline' used as a verb in a way that does not fit the context. Additionally, the repeated use of 'employments' is incorrect; 'employment' is an uncountable noun in this context, or you should use 'jobs'. Refining these collocations and ensuring accurate word forms will significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with article usage (e.g., 'The manufacturing', 'the retail') and pluralization (e.g., '15 millions jobs'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Your control over verb tenses is generally good, as you correctly use the past tense to describe the historical data. To reach a higher band, focus on eliminating these small but persistent errors in noun usage and articles, and try to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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