Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates about the occupations in different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At the onset, it is vivid that healthcare and retail jobs show increasing trend, whereas, agriculture works declined throughout the given time period.

Turning to the details of line's chart, in 1960, healthcare jobs were accounted as 4 millions which was increased up to 5 million in 1980 and then it continuously inclined and reached 16 millions in 2020. While, Manufacturing occupations was on 15 millions in 1960, which was rose up to 20 millions in 1980 then it was declined to 3 million in 2000. Whereas, in 2020 manufacturing jobs were recorded as 14 million.

Moving further, on the agriculture department 6 millions jobs were available in 1960 which was decreased up to 3 millions in 1980 and then it almost remained same in 2000, while it silently declined. Meanwhile, in 1960, Retail occupations was accounted as 6 million then it increased up to 15 million in 2000. Moreover after 2000 retail inclined which was recorded as 16 million.

continuing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the years mentioned. However, the overview is somewhat limited, and the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, the description of manufacturing jobs as declining to 3 million in 2000 and then rising to 14 million in 2020 is a bit disjointed. While the main features are identified, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. The inclusion of the word 'continuing' at the end is unnecessary and suggests an incomplete thought. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most significant trends more clearly and verify the data points against the graph more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Turning to the details of line's chart' and 'Moving further, on the agriculture department'. The transition between sentences is occasionally abrupt, and the logical flow within paragraphs is hindered by repetitive sentence structures. While the progression is generally clear, the use of referencing is sometimes imprecise, making the relationship between the data points and the sectors less smooth than it could be. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'vivid' instead of 'evident', 'inclined' used incorrectly to mean 'increased', and 'silently declined'. The phrase 'healthcare jobs were accounted as' is also unnatural. While the student successfully uses sector-specific terms like 'manufacturing' and 'agriculture', the range is limited, and the errors in collocation occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the information being presented.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'illustrates about the occupations', 'was rose up to', and 'retail occupations was accounted as'. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and there are issues with tense usage, particularly when describing past trends. While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors occur throughout the text and require the reader to re-read certain sections to grasp the intended meaning. A greater focus on accurate verb forms and preposition usage is needed to improve the grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.