Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates employment numbers in four sectors in United states economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clearly seen that for four decades manufacturing recorded the highest number of jobs but replaced by retail and healthcare in the end of the period. Agriculture figure declined each year.

In 1960 the vacant jobs in retail were only 5 million, higher than healthcare by 4 million, both rose dramatically and became the leading sector to produce 15 million jobs in 2020. Whereas, the medical job increased rapidly than retail narrowing the gap, with 5 million each decades.

Furthermore, in the economy mostly 15 million manufacturing jobs were vacant till 2000, this sector number reached its peak point in 1980 with a difference of 5 million, after that the figure started to fall behind retail and healthcare eventually ending at 13 million. Agriculture sector was the only one that remained the least throughout the period ending at 3 million jobs, except in initial years in which the figure is equal to retail and more than healthcare, at 5 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identify the main features, such as the decline in agriculture and the rise of retail and healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data interpretation; for instance, stating that manufacturing was 'replaced' by retail and healthcare is slightly misleading as the graph shows manufacturing remained relatively stable compared to the others. Additionally, some data points are described with slight confusion, such as the claim that agriculture was equal to retail in initial years, which requires more precise referencing to the graph's starting points. To reach a higher band, ensure that data comparisons are strictly accurate and that the overview highlights the most significant trends clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices like 'Whereas', 'Furthermore', and 'In 1960', which help link the information. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition into the final paragraph. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the specific figures for the sectors. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus would enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'employment numbers', 'declined', and 'peak point'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'vacant jobs' to describe employment figures, and 'each decades', which is grammatically incorrect. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'employment levels' instead of 'vacant jobs', and ensure accurate pluralisation of time expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'In United states economy' (missing articles), 'manufacturing recorded the highest number of jobs but replaced by' (missing auxiliary verb), and 'increased rapidly than retail' (incorrect comparative structure). These errors are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring that comparative structures are formed accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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