Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

the given line graph provides information about numbers of jobs in four sectors manufacturing r,retail,agriculture and healthcare economy us between 1960and 2020

overall it is evident that highest proportion of retail and healthcare are increasing and over da period while other jobs are decreasing in over da value in tge period

to begin with, in 1960 healthcare are 5% over the tike they suddenly up nd cross da agricultural line in 1980 at 5% in 1980 are increasing higher at 11 % nd ending up the 15% at 2020 moreover, retail had 6% in starting up to 5% then significant growth to at end with 15% in 2020

moving to bext,manufacturing ain 1960 in 15% nd they suddenly grow at 20 at 1980 in next time they are starting slightly decline at 14% in 2020

while agriculture had some small decline over the period in 1960 a 5% then is stable over da period at 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, the claim that healthcare was 5% in 1960 and crossed the agricultural line in 1980 is difficult to verify against the provided graph, and the description of trends is often vague. While the main features are identified, the lack of precision in data points and the inclusion of unclear figures limit the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that data points are clearly stated and that the overview highlights the most significant trends rather than just listing individual changes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and often mechanical (e.g., 'to begin with', 'moving to bext'). There is a lack of logical flow between sentences, and the referencing is sometimes unclear, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. The paragraphing is present but does not fully support the logical development of the information. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly improve the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increasing', 'decreasing', and 'growth'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'tike' instead of 'time', 'nd' instead of 'and', and 'bext' instead of 'next'. These errors, combined with the informal tone (e.g., 'da period'), indicate a lack of control over academic register. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your spelling and word choice are accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'healthcare are 5%'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'retail and healthcare are increasing... while other jobs are decreasing'). There is very little evidence of complex sentence structures, and punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent tense usage when describing past data, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.

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