Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in sector of the economy in U.S in between 1960 and 2020.

As we can seen from the graph, in the initial years the highest number of job was in Manufacturing sector being 15 million. while, a gradual increase was noticed in the number of job as 20 million in 1980, after that the figure start falling and ended up with almost 17 million. where as, the figure for Retail sector was quite interesting as in starting years it was almost 5 million of jobs there, however, a significant increased was seen there as in 2000 the figure was for retail was 15 million and after that it stay constant.

probing further, the agricultural was also at similar to Retail sector in 1960, while the figure start falling, in 1980 it was almost 3 million and stay constant and ended up with some number in 2020. further more, the healthcare sector was started with almost 3 million, a huge rise was noticed there which lift up the number as

in 2020 it was more than 5 million

overall, it is evident that the retail

and healthcare sectors had was showed increased in the number job, where as manufacturing and agricultural sectors had shown decreased in the same

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have identified the main trends for all four sectors, which is a positive start. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention 'some number' for agriculture in 2020, which is vague and fails to use the provided data effectively. Additionally, the overview is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise. To improve, ensure you provide specific figures for the start, end, and key turning points of each trend. While you have covered all sectors, the lack of accurate data points prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'probing further' are not appropriate for a formal report, and the transition between sentences is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'the figure start falling', where it is not immediately obvious which sector is being discussed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the flow of your writing significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'start' and 'increase' repeatedly. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'the figure start falling' (should be 'started to fall') and 'the figure was for retail was'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more varied reporting verbs and nouns, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'a marginal decline', and ensure your word choices are grammatically correct in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the figure start falling'), incorrect tense usage ('had was showed'), and missing articles ('in sector of the economy'). While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by errors, such as 'the healthcare sector was started with almost 3 million, a huge rise was noticed'. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading to eliminate these recurring errors before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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