Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depicts the information about the number of jobs in sector of the economy in U.S in between 1960 and 2020.

As we can seen from the graph, in the initial years the highest number of job was in Manufacturing sector being 15 million. while, a gradual increase was noticed in the number of job as 20 million in 1980, after that the figure start falling and ended up with almost 17 million. where as, the figure for Retail sector was quite interesting as in starting years it was almost 5 million of jobs there, however, a significant increased was seen there as in 2000 the figure was for retail was 15 million and after that it stay constant.

probing further, the agricultural was also at similar to Retail sector in 1960, while the figure start falling, in 1980 it was almost 3 million and stay constant and ended up with some number in 2020. further more, the healthcare sector was started with almost 3 million, a huge rise was noticed

there which lift up the number as

in 2020 it was more than 5 million

overall, it is evident that the retail

and healthcare sectors had was showed increased in the number job, whereas manufacturing and agricultural sectors

had shown decreased in the same

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the reporting of data is often imprecise (e.g., 'ended up with some number') and lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band. While the main features are highlighted, the overview is somewhat simplistic. To improve, ensure that all data points are clearly stated and that comparisons between sectors are more explicitly drawn throughout the report rather than just in the final summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. The use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or misused, such as the frequent use of 'while' and 'as' to connect unrelated clauses. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is present but lacks a sophisticated structure, and the transition between the body paragraphs and the overview could be smoother to enhance the overall readability of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'number of job' and 'figure'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the figure start falling' instead of 'the figure started to fall' and 'a significant increased was seen' instead of 'a significant increase'. The range of vocabulary is just adequate to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and variety needed to describe trends effectively. More precise verbs and nouns related to data analysis are required to move to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the figure start falling'), incorrect tense usage ('had was showed'), and missing articles ('in sector of the economy'). While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often structurally flawed or contain punctuation errors. The control over basic grammar is inconsistent, and the lack of error-free sentences prevents a higher score. Focusing on consistent tense usage and correct sentence construction will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.