Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information pertaining to the figure of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare in the economy of America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that Retail and Healthcare shows the increasing trend, While Manufacturing and Agriculture

showed decreasing.

Looking into more details, Manufacturing was the 15% in 1960 , highlighting its dominance over the all sector. Moreover, its rise significantly to 20% by 1980. After showing an increase , it decline steadily by almost 16% in 2000 ,and accounted for approximately 13% by 2020. Furthermore, In 1960 retail was recorded as 6%, which incline gradually to 15% by 2000 and reach at its peak in 2020 with highest figure of jobs in economy among all sectors by 16%.

However, Agriculture was 6% in 1960 and shows a decline of 3% in 1990 and remain stable , as it was about 2% in 2020. Meanwhile , Healthcare was increased significantly by 15% in 2000 and reach its peak in 2020 with around 6%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in Retail and Healthcare and the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating Manufacturing was '15% in 1960' and then 'declined steadily by almost 16% in 2000' is confusing and mathematically unclear. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. To improve, ensure that data points are cited precisely and that the comparison between sectors is more logically structured to highlight the 'main features' as requested by the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Looking into more details' and 'Furthermore, In 1960' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and poor punctuation. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is a reliance on basic verbs like 'shows', 'was', and 'increased'. Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'figure of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs' or 'incline gradually' instead of 'increased gradually'. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'it decline' instead of 'it declined'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated collocations related to data description, such as 'witnessed a downward trend' or 'reached a plateau'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Retail and Healthcare shows'), tense inconsistencies ('it decline steadily'), and incorrect preposition usage ('reach at its peak'). Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent spacing and comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for tense consistency and subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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