Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The Line Graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
The overall graph shows that number of jobs in Manufacturing and Agriculture industry has gradually decreased while the graph clearly shows that there is great increase in number of jobs in Retail and Healthcare industry
If we consider numbers then both Retail and Healthcare industry has shown rapid growth from year 1960 to 2020 and both of them showed above 15 millions jobs in comparision to the Agriculture industry.
The graph shows that during the beginning of the year 1960 Manufacturing industry had 15 millions of jobs and even achieved 20 millions of jobs by the year 1980 but after that there is significant decrease in number of jobs in Manufacturing Industry .The number of jobs in Agriculture industry were stable between 1980 to 2000 ,while in comparision to that there was decrease in number of jobs in Manufacturing industry within same period of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends, such as the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture and the growth in Retail and Healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the mention of 'above 15 millions jobs' is vague and does not accurately reflect the specific data points provided in the graph. Furthermore, the report fails to provide a comprehensive overview of the data, as it omits significant details regarding the starting and ending points for all four sectors. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that all key features are clearly identified and supported with accurate data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'the graph shows' and 'in comparison to'. The transition between ideas is mechanical, and the paragraphing does not effectively group related information. For example, the second paragraph mixes general trends with specific data, which disrupts the flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'number of jobs', 'increase', and 'decrease'. There is little attempt to use more sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary related to economic trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stagnant'). Additionally, there are minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'during the beginning of the year 1960', which is unnatural. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning collocations for describing trends will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles (e.g., 'in Manufacturing and Agriculture industry'), subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'both Retail and Healthcare industry has shown'), and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces before periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these frequent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly article usage and pluralisation, is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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