Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts the availability of jobs in four areas including (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Health care) in year between [redacted phone] in the US.
Overall, the job available in manufacturing sector showed peak after certain time, it declined. In the meantime, the number of employments in a agriculture sector was lowest and kept declining, at some point it remained stable but still the lowest. On the other hand, availability of employment in agriculture and healthcare sector both showed increasing pattern.
Availability of jobs in manufacturing sector was at peak of 20 million by the year of 1980, after that is declined approx. 12 million by 2020.Similarly, jobs in agriculture sector at 6 million where it started declining to 3 million till 1980, after that time period it remained almost stable.
Concurrently, job availability in retail sector started at 5 million in 1960 where it kept on increasing approx. 15 million by the year 2020. Likewise, Healthcare job availability started on almost 2 million in 196
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but it is incomplete as it cuts off mid-sentence at the end. While you identify the key trends for the four sectors, the description of the healthcare sector is missing, and the summary of the agriculture sector contains a contradiction (stating it showed an 'increasing pattern' while the data shows a decline). To improve, ensure you provide a complete overview of all data points and double-check your data interpretation against the visual information provided. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to the errors in describing the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the use of 'Concurrently' and 'Likewise' which do not always flow naturally with the preceding sentences. The progression of ideas is hindered by the abrupt ending of the text, which leaves the final point undeveloped. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical connection to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'showed peak' and 'increasing pattern' are functional but basic. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'job available' instead of 'job availability' and 'in a agriculture sector'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked at', or 'experienced a steady decline', and ensure correct article usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in year between'), incorrect preposition usage, and tense inconsistencies. For example, 'after that is declined' should be 'after that it declined'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around parentheses and commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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