Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the multiple number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in US economy over the period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Health care and retail jobs followed an upward trend. On the other hand, agriculture remained constant, before falling off and manufacturing showed fluctuation in the job market.

Medical treatment showed a dramatic increase in the job market starting with almost 3 million jobs in 1960 and ended up with over 15 million jobs in 2020. However, retail jobs are 6 million initially and observed an upward trend and reaches at its peak to over 15 million in 2020.

In contrast, Agriculture at the initial point observed a downward trend falling from 6 million jobs in 1960 and reached to 4 million jobs in 1990 then, they remain steady till 2000 before falling to 3 million jobs in 2020. Whereas, manufacturing sector Initially has the maximum number of jobs in US later, it observed an upward trend from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million jobs in 1990, after that it dramatically fall to almost 13 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. The overview provides a clear summary of the general movements. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, the text states manufacturing reached 20 million in 1990, whereas the graph shows it peaking earlier, and the description of retail starting at 6 million is slightly imprecise. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis could be more precise in its comparison of the sectors at specific time intervals to fully meet the requirements for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on different sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'In contrast', and 'Whereas' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by minor mechanical issues, such as the transition between sentences in the final paragraph. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be smoother with more varied linking phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at topic-specific language like 'upward trend', 'fluctuation', and 'dramatic increase'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'multiple number of jobs' and 'falling off'. The phrasing 'Medical treatment' is used to refer to the 'healthcare' sector, which is slightly imprecise. While the range is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'retail jobs are 6 million initially' (should be 'were') and 'it dramatically fall' (should be 'fell'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A greater focus on consistent tense usage when describing past trends is needed.

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