Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrate the information of job applicants in different sectors of US economy by 1960 and 2020.
Along the X axis years are labeled by 1960 to 2020 while on the y axis jobs are labeled and trend of four sectors are drawn in the graph chart.
Between 1960 to 1980, manufacturing jobs was on its peak. However, it start moving down by the start of 1980 and expected to continue by 2020.while a war between was seemed between Retail and Healthcare they both performs a continuous up trend by the start of 1960 and converge above 15 . Between 1960 to 1980, jobs was decreased in agriculture sector and it remain steady by 2000 and continues its down trend as expected it will remain down for long period. Thought the period, each sector faces a significant change in 1980 having 20 million jobs in Manufacturing in comparison 2020 was the most lowest year of jobs in Agriculture sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision. For instance, the description of the trends is occasionally vague, such as 'converge above 15', without specifying units or clear timeframes. The overview is missing, which is a critical requirement for Task 1 to achieve a higher band. The data points mentioned are sometimes unclear, and the comparison between sectors could be more effectively developed to highlight the significant shifts over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of paragraphing to separate the introduction from the body paragraphs. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'However' and 'Between 1960 to 1980', they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the second half of the response where the transition between the agriculture sector and the overall summary is abrupt. Improved paragraphing and a wider variety of linking words would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the most lowest year' (a double superlative error) and 'war between was seemed'. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic terms like 'moving down' or 'up trend' rather than more sophisticated academic collocations. To improve, you should focus on using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'gradual increase', and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'manufacturing jobs was' and 'jobs was decreased'. There are also errors in tense usage and sentence structure, such as 'the line chart illustrate' and 'it start moving down'. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often structurally flawed. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of full stops and capital letters. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would lead to immediate improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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