Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph that was given explains a satistical data of employment in Us from 1960 to 2020 and it is further divided in four sectors: Manufacturing,Retail,Agriculture and healthcare. Also graph has number of jobs during these years.
In 1960s the number of jobs in manufacturing sector was quite good as it was noted at 15 on graph. Then we have noted a less ratio of jobs in retail sector and agriculture which was 5 and now another sector which is healthcare was just almost non because it was recorded on 0 in graph.
Further on in 1980s which was the next era the record shows the obvious rise in three sectors: manufacturing,retail and healthare. Also on the other hand we have seen agressive decline in agriculture.
Afterwards the record shows magnificient downfall of agriculture sector during 2000 to 2020. instead of this sector all other three sectors improvised themselves by time and increase in employment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the data but fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends. The description of the data is inaccurate; for example, stating that healthcare was 'almost non' at 0 in 1960 is a misinterpretation of the graph's scale and data points. The report lacks specific data points to support the trends described, and the information is presented in a fragmented way. To improve, you must identify the most significant trends, such as the long-term decline in agriculture versus the steady growth in healthcare, and support these with accurate figures from the graph. The response lacks a clear summary of the overall picture.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'the record shows' and 'also'. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, making the text feel like a list of observations rather than a cohesive report. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Consequently') to show the relationship between the different sectors and time periods more clearly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Words like 'record', 'noted', and 'sector' are used frequently. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'less ratio of jobs' and 'improvised themselves', which are not natural in this context. The spelling of 'satistical', 'healthare', 'agressive', and 'magnificient' indicates a need for more careful proofreading. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'experienced a sharp decline', or 'gradual increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles ('in Us', 'on graph'), incorrect verb forms ('was just almost non'), and awkward phrasing ('the graph that was given explains a satistical data'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding spacing after commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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