Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
according to the grapy, the given information about the number of job in four factor which is manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the USA between 1960 and 2020
The manufacturing sector of the economy in the USA in 1960 is 15 Million and its increase in 1980 to 20 Million. in 2000 the manufacturing sector in the USA is decrease to 17 million and in 2020, The manufacturing sector of the economy in USA is bellow the 15 Million.
The retail sector of the economy in the USA in 1960 is is 6 Million and its rapidly grow to 10 Million in 1980 in the USA. In 2000 its increase to 15 Million and in 2020 the retail sector is increase to 17 million.
The agriculture sector of the economy in the USA in 1960 is 6 Million and its decrease in 1980 to 4 Million. In 2000 the agriculture sector is stable and its 4 Million but in 2020 the agriculture sector decrease to 3 Million.
The healthcare sector of the economy in the USA in 1960 is 3 Million and its rapidly increase in 1980 to 5 Million. In 2000 the healthcare sector is again increase to 11 Million and in 2020 the healthcare sector is increase to 16 Million
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the requested years. However, it lacks an overview of the main trends, which is a critical requirement for Task 1. The response is essentially a list of data points for each sector rather than a summary of the main features. To improve, you should include an introductory paragraph that highlights the most significant trends, such as the overall growth in healthcare and retail compared to the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. The current approach is too mechanical and lacks the analytical synthesis required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs by sector, which provides a basic logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'In 2000' to start sentences, which makes the flow feel mechanical. There is a lack of linking words to connect ideas or show relationships between the data points. To improve, try using a wider variety of transition signals such as 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Meanwhile' to create a more natural flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You use the word 'increase' or 'decrease' in almost every sentence, often with incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'its increase to 15 Million'). There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp rise'. The spelling error 'grapy' instead of 'graph' and the misuse of 'factor' instead of 'sector' also detract from the quality of the writing. Expanding your range of synonyms and collocations for describing data is essential.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'the manufacturing sector... is decrease' should be 'decreased' or 'has decreased'. You also consistently use 'its' (possessive) instead of 'it' (subject) or 'it has' (contraction). The sentence structures are very simple and repetitive, consisting mostly of 'The [sector] in [year] is [number]'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, which are necessary to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.