Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.
The graph compares employment in four sectors of the US economy: manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.
Overall, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors experienced a decline in employment, while the retail and healthcare sectors showed an upward trend. Healthcare experienced the most significant growth, whereas agriculture had the lowest number of jobs by the end of the period.
Looking first at the manufacturing sector, the number of jobs increased initially, reaching a peak in 1993. However, employment then decreased gradually until 2020.
The retail and healthcare sectors followed similar upward trends. Employment in both sectors increased gradually from 1993 onwards and continued to grow until 2020.
In contrast, the agriculture sector experienced a steady decline throughout the period. The number of jobs decreased gradually from the beginning of the period until 2020.
By 2020, retail and healthcare had become the two sectors with the highest employment figures, while agriculture had the lowest.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and highlighted key features, such as the peak in manufacturing and the final standing of the sectors. However, the response lacks specific data points (e.g., approximate numbers or years) to support the descriptions. While the trends are correctly identified, the report would be more professional if it included some of the figures from the graph to substantiate the claims. To reach a higher band, ensure you integrate specific data to illustrate the magnitude of the changes described.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, which aids readability. You have used some cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'However' to link ideas. However, the transitions between sentences are sometimes a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Overall, the structure is sound and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends, such as 'experienced a decline', 'upward trend', and 'significant growth'. The language is accurate and appropriate for an academic report. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the use of 'increased' and 'decreased'. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more precise collocations to describe the movement of data. The current range is adequate for the task but lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The grammar is generally accurate, and you have used a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, which allows for clear communication. There is a good control of punctuation and tense usage throughout the text. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as participial phrases or more advanced subordinating clauses, to demonstrate greater flexibility. The current level of accuracy is good, but the range of structures is somewhat limited.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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