Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs across four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs in 1960 followed by other three sectors. While in 2020, retail and healthcare surpassed all. Agriculture remained the lowest job providing sector.

In 1960, manufacturing sector provided fifteen million jobs, which peaked at twenty million in 1980 but later decreased with seventeen million and went below fifteen million in 2020. Retail and agriculture had equal share in jobs in 1960. But in 1980, retail showed increase upto ten million, which reached upto fifteen million in 2000 and remained stable with a bit fluctutation in 2020.

Healthcare was the lowest in 1960 but rose significantly to five million and surged dramatically to elevel million in 2000 and upto 16 million in 2020. Agriculture sector was at five million in beginning but reduced to below five in 1980 and levelled off till 2000 but then declined steadily to three million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides a clear overview of the trends. You successfully identified the main features, such as the manufacturing sector's decline and the growth of healthcare. However, the analysis could be more precise; for instance, stating that retail and agriculture had an 'equal share' in 1960 is slightly inaccurate based on the visual data, and some figures are described in a way that lacks clarity. To reach a higher band, ensure that comparisons are more explicit and that the data points cited are consistently accurate throughout the report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Overall', 'While', and 'But', to link sentences. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the retail sector could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making the flow between sentences feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear transitions between paragraphs would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surpassed', 'fluctuation', and 'levelled off' appropriately. However, there are some spelling errors, such as 'elevel' instead of 'eleven', and some awkward phrasing, such as 'other three sectors' without specifying which ones. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication or precision required for a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your spelling is accurate, as these minor errors slightly detract from the overall quality of your lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use some complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'in US' should be 'in the US', 'manufacturing sector had highest' should be 'the manufacturing sector had the highest') and prepositions. Additionally, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and proofreading for minor grammatical slips will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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