Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, both retail and healthcare were increased in 2020, while other shows decline over the period.
Firstly, the manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960, there was a rise of 5 million twenty years later, and a fall can be observed in 2020 and it was recorded as 13 million. Initially, the retail and the agriculture sectors both began from 6 million, while a gradual rise in retail and in 2000 it was 15 million and a minimal increase was 16 million were observed.
In contrast, the agriculture sector fluctuated and approximately 4 million in 1980, while over time it was below 3 million in 2020. Finally, the healthcare starts from 2 million and it reach to 5 million in 1980 and a great upward trajectory shown in 2020 of around 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, stating that 'other shows decline' is imprecise as the data for manufacturing and agriculture show different patterns, and the phrasing is grammatically awkward. While the key features are highlighted, the description of the data is sometimes confusing, such as the sentence regarding retail and agriculture starting at 6 million, which lacks clarity. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly distinguishes between sectors that grew and those that declined, and provide more precise comparisons between the sectors at specific time intervals.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'In contrast', and 'Finally', which help guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the transition between the manufacturing and retail data in the third paragraph is abrupt. Improving the use of linking phrases to connect sentences more smoothly would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory', 'fluctuated', and 'decline'. However, there are instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'both were increased' (should be 'increased') and 'a minimal increase was 16 million were observed', which is grammatically and lexically confusing. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors. To improve, focus on using more precise reporting verbs and nouns to describe trends, and ensure that the terminology used to describe numerical changes is accurate and naturally placed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the manufacturing had 15 million jobs' (missing 'sector'), 'the healthcare starts from' (tense inconsistency), and 'it reach to' (should be 'reached'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are areas that require significant attention. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent verb tenses when describing past data and ensuring correct article usage would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.