Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the amount of four different jobs sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) the economy in the US, from 1960 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.
Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased over the period given, while for agriculture, it reduced. At the start of the period, manufacturing jobs were the most popular among all. Manufacturing was the most employed in the middle of the period but, by the end, retail and healthcare was most popular.
With regards to the amount of manufacturing jobs, it began at 15 millions and then peaked at 20 millions in 1980 before falling dramatically about 7 millions in the 2020. likewise, approximately 6 millions of people were doing jobs in healthcare in the first year, after which the figure dropped to a low of 3 millions in 1980 and stayed same
after 2 decades. Meanwhile, it dropped again
by 1 million in 2020.
On the other hand, the number of jobs for retail and healthcare only started with 6 millions and 2 millions in 1960, respectively. This figures, which
reached a high of just over 15 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare jobs dropped to 3 million in 1980, whereas the graph shows a different trend. Additionally, the final paragraph is confusing, as it conflates retail and healthcare data and provides a figure that does not clearly align with the visual evidence. While you identify the main trends (manufacturing declining, retail/healthcare rising), the lack of precision in data interpretation prevents a higher score. Ensure you double-check the axes and data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'This figures, which reached a high...' is grammatically disjointed and lacks a clear connection to the previous sentence. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is acceptable, but the internal flow within the third and fourth paragraphs is hampered by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing, which occasionally disrupts the logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'peaked', and 'dramatically'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'most employed' (instead of 'highest number of employees') and 'amount of manufacturing jobs' (where 'number' is more appropriate for countable nouns). The repetition of 'millions' and the misuse of 'same' (e.g., 'stayed same') indicate a limited control over precise academic vocabulary. Improving your grasp of collocations will help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'retail and healthcare was most popular'), incorrect pluralisation (e.g., '15 millions'), and missing articles. Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper structure, such as 'This figures, which reached a high of just over 15 millions in 2020.' These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the clarity of the information being presented. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy is recommended.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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