Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph presents the amount of jobs in US from 1960 to 2020 in four different sectors of economy.

Overall, healthcare and retail sector experienced an increase, whereas manufacturing and agriculture witnessed a decline. The manufacturing sector was leading the job market in 1960, while healthcare was at the bottom.

The manufacturing market started strong in 1960, providing 15 million jobs and increased significantly reaching a peak in 1980, providing 20 million jobs. After that it declined sharply as it reached to approximately 13 million jobs. Whereas, agriculture sector started with providing 6 million jobs and recorded a sharp decline as it went down to providing 3 million jobs to the economy in 1980. Moreover, remained the same for two decades and then experienced a gradual decline and reached the lowest of all the sectors in 2020, providing only 2 million jobs.

On the other hand, both retail sector and healthcare sector increased sharply. Retail sector started with the least amounts of job in 1960 which were approximately 2.5 million. It experienced a gradual increase till 1980 and then increased dramatically till 2020 as it provided the most jobs to the economy which were approximately 16 million. The remaining sector which is retail also rose sharply till 2020 providing 15 million jobs in 2000 and saw a gradual increase in the last two decades ending with also providing the most jobs which were approximately 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully identifies the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the four sectors. You have clearly highlighted the contrasting movements of the sectors over the 60-year period. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you mention the manufacturing sector peaked in 1980 at 20 million, but the graph shows the peak occurred earlier, and your description of the retail and healthcare sectors is slightly confused in the final paragraph, where you label both as 'retail' and struggle to clearly distinguish the two lines. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are read precisely and that each sector is clearly identified throughout the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the sectors by their trends (declining vs. increasing). The use of cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Whereas' helps guide the reader through the comparisons. However, the referencing in the final paragraph is slightly confusing, as you refer to both sectors as 'retail', which disrupts the flow and clarity of the comparison. Improving the precision of your referencing would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the trends, using terms like 'witnessed a decline', 'increased significantly', and 'dramatically'. There is some repetition of basic phrases like 'providing... jobs', and the word choice in the final paragraph is slightly imprecise due to the confusion between the two sectors. To improve, try to vary your verbs and nouns further—for example, using 'employment figures' instead of repeating 'jobs'—and ensure that your terminology remains accurate when describing specific economic sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'the amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'the agriculture sector started with providing' (should be 'started by providing'). Additionally, there are some awkward phrasings like 'reached to approximately 13 million'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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