Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information over the figures of works in 4 different economy sections in the US for 8 decades([redacted phone]).
Overall,Both Health and Retail Sectors Experienced a gradual increase in jobs done throughout the given year between 2Millions to 16millions and 5millions to 16millions respectively.whille the the Agricultural department rose in job done in 1960 with 5millions and fell drastically to 2million by year 2020.Although Manufacturing section reached the peak of work done in year1980 with 20millions jobs,however it declined dramatically to Million by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Because the response is only 87 words, the analysis is underdeveloped and lacks the necessary detail to fully report the main features of the graph. While you have identified some trends, such as the growth in the Health and Retail sectors and the decline in Agriculture and Manufacturing, the lack of length prevents a comprehensive overview. To improve, you must expand on the data points, provide more detailed comparisons between the sectors, and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for a full development of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is very brief, consisting of only two paragraphs. While there is a basic attempt at an overview, the lack of a clear structure and the limited length make it difficult to demonstrate a range of cohesive devices. The use of linking words like 'Overall' and 'Although' is a positive start, but the flow is interrupted by the brevity of the text. To achieve a higher score, you should organize your report into a clear introduction, an overview, and two distinct body paragraphs that group the data logically, using a wider variety of transition signals to connect your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and basic. Phrases like 'jobs done' and 'number of jobs' are used frequently. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'economy sections' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'Agricultural department' instead of 'agricultural sector'. The spelling of 'millions' is inconsistent, and the phrasing 'fell drastically to 2million' is slightly awkward. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked at', or 'experienced a downward trend', and ensure consistent formatting for numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For instance, 'the the' is a repetition error, and 'between 2Millions to 16millions' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'between 2 million and 16 million'. The sentence structure is quite simple, and there are issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas and incorrect capitalization in 'Both Health and Retail Sectors'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for minor mechanical errors like spacing and capitalization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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