Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the career opportunities in Manufacturing, retail agriculture and healthcare in the United States of America in a particular from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the majority of jobs were seen in manufacturing although it slightly dipped by the end of the period. Another notable fact is that in the Agriculture field, although jobs were higher than healthcare at the beginning of the time-frame but its figures kept downward trend ti until the period ended. The healtheare and retail departments witnessed significant growth in the period given.

At the start of the peri time frame in 1960, the production sphere of the America was dominating of the with 15 millions of jobs, which slightly went just on 20 millions in 1980, recording around 17 millions and about 13 millions of jobs in 2000 and 2020 respectively. whereas, retail and farming sectors started just above 5 millions of vacancies in 1960, retail followed a constant raise recording 10 millions in 1980, ending the period just above 15 millions in 2020. While healthcare agriculture sector kept dropping till the time-frame given ended in 2020 at just around 3 millions of openings.

Medical Sector was the only among all other sectors to record notable growth, with the beginning at around 3 millions in 1960 followed by 5 millions in 1980, increasing sharply just above 10 millions of jobs in 2000 and above 15 millions of jobs position in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the decline in agriculture versus the growth in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the figures; for example, you state manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it closer to 18 million. Additionally, the description of the trends is occasionally confusing, such as the phrase 'healthcare agriculture sector kept dropping', which conflates two distinct sectors. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that you clearly distinguish between the four categories throughout the report.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for the trends, and a clear overview. You use some cohesive devices like 'whereas' and 'while' to link ideas. However, the flow is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. The transition between the second and third paragraphs is slightly disjointed, as you return to discussing the medical sector after having already mentioned it in the previous paragraph. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career opportunities', 'dominating', and 'significant growth'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'production sphere of the America', 'constant raise' (instead of 'rise'), and 'jobs position'. Some of these errors, combined with minor spelling issues like 'healtheare', slightly distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your collocations are natural and accurate in the context of describing economic data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the America', 'the retail'), prepositions, and subject-verb agreement ('the production sphere... was dominating of the'). There are also several instances of awkward syntax, such as 'its figures kept downward trend ti until the period ended'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for article usage and verb forms would significantly improve your accuracy.

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